Wednesday, November 16, 2005
heys.
hmmm.
thot of creating this blog cos.
its like.
ive got so much to say about my past few days.
i wanna say to somebody.
i wanna type out.
in my blog.
but.
i dowanna say in public where everyone would be able to read.
and.
i dont feel like saying it.
not on fone.
not face to face.
just felt like typing everything out here.
wells.
youre aso busy.
even if youre free,
you'll be with chester.
hais.
aiyer.
nvm.
so now you knw why i wan a blog for us?
nvm.
donnoe then nvm.
hais.
past few days/mths/years,
ive been missing someone.
and.
i think i'm missing my dad.
this few days,
my sisters has been telling me about so much.
i donnoe how to xpress my feelings aso.
i felt like crying.
and while i'm typing this post,
theres alrd tears in my eyes.
i seriously hate my mum.
but.
sometimes.
i think i dont.
i hate her cos.
i dont unerstand why is she treating that damn guy so nice.
helloh?
can you imagine that?
shes like.
messaging for him and blablahbla.
walao.
i seriously carnt stand this la.
all of this.
and.
you knw she never treats my dad that well?
i dont think my dad and mum are in good terms.
my mum is always scolding my dad.
for NOTHING.
just to think of it.
i really do pity my dad.
he doesnt have much time to spend with my mum cos hes been working so hard everyday!
he worked so hard.
and left so much money for us.
my sister received a letter from the lawyer.
and she told me.
i was like.
woahs.
carnt believe it.
and its sad to say.
i actually dont rmb much about my dad.
all i rmb frm the past are just.
sundays.
family days.
where my parents are free to bring the whole family out for a dinner.
happy days.
i dont rmb much about his looks.
his everything.
i admit it.
i knw so little about him.
the image of him is fading as time pass.
saddening.
i felt like hugging him so tight.
but.
hes not here.
so funny.
now that ive grown older.
and it seems like.
i'm missing him more and more.
maybe bcos ive now realised how impt he is.
maybe bcos of all the stuff that has happened to me.
i hate all those that is happening.
its driving me crazy.
there is so much that i wanna say.
hais.
i finally realised.
its too late.
hes gone.
for good.
i wanna see him happy there.
where ever he is.
i shall work hard.
in everything i do.
my studies.
and netball.
hais.
and i seriously hate it.
do you rmb the day that we went to lian's hse to do project?
just the both of us with her?
and her mum kept asking us ques about her and everything?
rmb.
at that point of time,
i really do feel like crying.
i mean.
i seriously envy her.
how much her mum cares.
and.
you can always be with your WHOLE family for outing.
but.
for this whole year.
or rather.
for the past few years aftr my dad's death,
ive never been with my whole family.
just all of us
for a simple dinner or whatsoever.
never.
and aftr that guy came,
time spent with my mum lessen.
my da jie never talk to her now.
i seldom see her.
the house is so empty.
everybody is out.
my sis in hostel.
my er jie all everyday.
my bro out everyday too.
my mum with that guy.
sometimes never go home aso.
only my maid and dog is at home most of the time.
so.
whats the point of me being at home?
i'll be alone aso.
left doing nothing.
in an empty hse.
i hate it when my mum just gives me money to buy whichever stuff i wan.
i'll be shopping alone for my own stuffs.
she knw NOTHING about me.
if you ask her about my sch work,
i bet she carnt reply any.
aiyer.
i once thot i'm in a happy family.
but.
all this are gone.
i was ONCE in a happy family.
not now anymore.
hais.
and this past few days,
so much happened.
hais.
nvm.
you arent aware of anything.
i gotta go now.
BYES.
- ran-away 8:07 AM
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